What is wit?

Can anyone explain to me what wit is? I know its meaning, but what does it look like? For example, if someone gave me a piece of text and asked me to read it, and then decide on whether it was witty or not, I think I’d fail at that.

I think I complain too much – redux

Does anyone remember that post where I talked about that girl that I like?

You know, the singer that’s super-hot? Remember how I said that I was pretty much over her?

Well, I’m not over her. And I am unhealthily infatuated with her. I haven’t done anything crazy as of yet, unless you define Facebook stalking as crazy. Though I’m pretty sure everyone does it, don’t they?

See, in the blog post I have linked to, I said I was over her, and during the time of writing that blog post, I did realise and know that I could never really pursue her. I mean, I may turn her gay for a month, but we all know how straight girls always go running back to their boys. Gosh, they’re such heartbreakers. I’d say they’re worse than the bi-curious girls. As I was saying though, everything is easier said than done.

Anyway, like I said before, I am crazy about her. I cannot stop thinking about her. Quite literally. Every minute awake is devoted to thinking about her. The only time when I’m not thinking about her is when I’m sleeping, or imagining myself as a super-famous drummer, or when I’m thinking about buying a fucking pair of corduroy pants. I have even thought about going to a therapist, but I’m not working at the moment so I can’t afford it (is a therapist covered by Medicare? I don’t think it is). So I’m kind of stuck in this erratic rut where it’s just driving me crazy. It makes me so unsettled. Words cannot describe just how messed up I am at the moment because of this one girl.

So I figured that I should just tell her how I feel, which I don’t think would be too hard for me because according to everyone know, I am quite direct. Sometimes I get messages/calls from my friends telling me how I seemed a little rude or inappropriate. While my friends understand the way I behave, I’ve actually had to explain myself to my friends’ friends a few times. So that should be no problem. One problem however, is finding the time to talk to her. I don’t know when her schedule, or when she is available. I’ve texted her two weeks in a row about this great place where people actually gather in an apartment (which is “owned” by a squatter, actually) where there is some genuinely good music. This place is illegal, as it’s not a licensed music venue, and people are allowed to bring their own alcohol. It’s also pretty bohemian, as there are people who sometimes show up and sketch the musicians that are playing. As far as I’m concerned, she’s always working on that particular day.

And yes, sorry about going off into that little tangent about being direct and the little illegal music venue. Anyway, it’s hard to find the time to actually talk to her. She’s actually doing a gig next Wednesday and I’m hoping to tell her then. Which means I will have to get a private conversation just between the two of us going. Which will be difficult because she is the headlining act. Which means everyone will most likely be swarming around her; her friends, her family, random people who want to suck-up to her or network with her. Fucking stupid. Two, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to build some kind of repertoire and know her better, but I’ve kind of… missed them?

When I went to the TAFE gig, I talked to her for a bit, and I missed an opportunity there. It was a three-way conversation with someone else and her, and then she walked off because I didn’t fucking include her. So stupid of me. Two, when I went to see her gig outside of TAFE, she was too busy talking with her friends, so I didn’t get a chance to know her better there either. I thought third time would be a charm, but I was wrong. I went go see her gig with a friend and in this swanky queer bar/club, and we bumped into her after she finished playing her set. She asked us to wait for her as she was going to put her guitar somewhere so we waited, but then my friend had to go so I escorted him out of the bar. I didn’t want to wait as I had the flu pretty bad that day, so I went home as soon as my friend left (though luckily, I told her friend I was going and asked her to say good-bye for me). The following day, I was hitting my head against the wall. I totally regret leaving early. It wouldn’t hurt to exchange a few words with her, would it?

So now that you know all my mishaps, how am I supposed to her to tell her, straight from the bottom of my heart, that I am crazy for her, who is pretty much a stranger to me?

What sucks the most is that I am completely happy being friends with her, and would rather not pursue any kind of relationship with her (I think it’s pretty obvious if we did get into some kind of relationship, it would probably end up being pretty messy in the end). But then there’s this other part of my brain that’s telling me I should continue chasing her. Oh, life is so complicated.

And so now, I sit here listening to The Girls by Calvin Harris in order to make me feel better about myself.